Brotherhood is portrayed powerfully and often appealingly in the movies and on TV. But it can be exclusionary and destructive, particularly in the church.
That’s amazing stuff. I didn’t realise there were such parallels in our stories. Carolyn also didn’t get to see most of her family from the age of 7. Tragic stories indeed. What you describe has so many levels of pain, from separation to grief to real agony over loss. That’s life, isn’t it? All its gloriousness but also so much mess. I think one of the major things I’ve learnt in recent years is never to second guess people who have become estranged, because while I do believe in redemption always, I also know deeply that sometimes it’s just too painful to even contemplate.
Thank you David, you’ve reminded me of my maternal grandfather with these thoughts of fathers and brothers (and bretheren). He was Exclusive Bretheren, born into it but excommunicated at age 19 for reading the Bible for himself and sneaking out to join the local Open Bretheren for their “beach mission” (and maybe also because he had his eye on the pretty pianist). He became an Open Bretheren pastor, with one of his strong convictions being that women should be free to exercise their leadership skills (you can imagine how much I loved him).
As a result of being excommunicated from the Exclusives he didn’t see his only sibling (his brother) again until he was 60. Not because his brother stayed in the church but because he rejected Christianity completely. Their reunion broke my grandfather though. It’s a painful and complicated story of loss and grief but despite it he was the most beautiful, loving man.
My husband is also estranged from his brother, it’s been 20 years since he rejected his family outright over an event he found hurtful. Obviously I’ve read your next post and my lingering feeling is of the costly waste of the love that could be shared and cherished. I know it’s so complex but I hold that thought alongside the loss of my own brother who’s absence is physically painful to call to mind.
That’s amazing stuff. I didn’t realise there were such parallels in our stories. Carolyn also didn’t get to see most of her family from the age of 7. Tragic stories indeed. What you describe has so many levels of pain, from separation to grief to real agony over loss. That’s life, isn’t it? All its gloriousness but also so much mess. I think one of the major things I’ve learnt in recent years is never to second guess people who have become estranged, because while I do believe in redemption always, I also know deeply that sometimes it’s just too painful to even contemplate.
Thank you David, you’ve reminded me of my maternal grandfather with these thoughts of fathers and brothers (and bretheren). He was Exclusive Bretheren, born into it but excommunicated at age 19 for reading the Bible for himself and sneaking out to join the local Open Bretheren for their “beach mission” (and maybe also because he had his eye on the pretty pianist). He became an Open Bretheren pastor, with one of his strong convictions being that women should be free to exercise their leadership skills (you can imagine how much I loved him).
As a result of being excommunicated from the Exclusives he didn’t see his only sibling (his brother) again until he was 60. Not because his brother stayed in the church but because he rejected Christianity completely. Their reunion broke my grandfather though. It’s a painful and complicated story of loss and grief but despite it he was the most beautiful, loving man.
My husband is also estranged from his brother, it’s been 20 years since he rejected his family outright over an event he found hurtful. Obviously I’ve read your next post and my lingering feeling is of the costly waste of the love that could be shared and cherished. I know it’s so complex but I hold that thought alongside the loss of my own brother who’s absence is physically painful to call to mind.